14 Apr The Lonely Place
It’s that time of night . . .
When the voices in my head start to speak and the cravings start to come. Chocolate. A drink. Call someone. ANYONE. Check for a new text message again. Scroll through the infamous fake lives posted on Facebook. Look for free or cheap stuff on Craigslist. Anything to avoid the most painful pain of all . . . loneliness.
We singles often think we are the only ones that feel lonely. I’ve done enough life now to know that a marriage can be a lonely place to live too. Yes, even a healthy marriage doesn’t save you from the pain of feeling like you are all alone.
No one gets it. No one understands . . .
Your pain. Your shame. The way your life is different. How sometimes you just don’t . . . fit in. Maybe worse. Maybe you are one of THE ones that others look up to. You’re strong. A leader. You know just how lonely it can be at the top.
Tonight I feel the pain of loneliness and want desperately to medicate it.
I want to get up and grab the bag of dark chocolate Hershey kisses I try to avoid every night as they sit in my kitchen pantry. Even better . . . I could get up and head to the grocery store for a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
ANYTHING to medicate the pain of loneliness I feel.
I wish someone were here.
Someone to hold me. To listen to me. To share in the joys and pains of the day. Instead I sit here typing on this illuminated screen trying to grasp the truth of Luke 5:16:
“…..Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
It’s here that I work to digest the truth that You understood the pain of the lonely place. You often went there on purpose. It’s the lonely place you escaped to . . . to pray.
I do the opposite.
I run from the lonely place. I avoid it at all cost.
If by some unlucky chance I find myself there, I certainly don’t pray. NO. It’s simpler to just medicate.
Yet, you went there purposefully which makes me think that maybe I am missing something. The truth I am realizing . . .
It’s in the lonely place I learn I’M NOT ALONE.
You weren’t. Your Father met you there.
Help me learn that I won’t be alone in the lonely place either. Help me to be still long enough to see that you are ready to meet me.
In the lonely place.
The one true place I alone can see . . .
I am not alone.